Failure at Heart
by Don't Forget Hope
Summary: Sodapop and Darry are at Ponyboy's track meet. When Sodapop thinks about Sandy and dropping out of highschool. Oneshot!


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders that belongs to S.E. Hinton!:)**

"Run Ponyboy! Run!" I yelled at my brother who was running like lighting speed.

Darry and I were at Ponyboy track meet it was the last one for the season, and we promise him after the meet we would all go to Dingo for dinner. Just the three of us, we all thought it be a good idea if the gang didn't come.

"Come on Ponyboy pass him!" Darry screamed sternly at him. I laughed a little, even Darry was getting into the race.  
>I think everybody was it was that last race of the season and it seem like the whole school was here. Ponyboy was neck and neck with this one boy for first place.<p>

"Come on Pony!" I said really loud.  
>I had no idea if Ponyboy heard me, but he picked up the pace and know he was in first place.<p>

"That a boy Pony." I said proudly.

That was my baby brother right there, I looked over at Darry he had a proud smile on his face, I actually saw a couple of girls squealing over Ponyboy. I grinned I never would admit it, but I was a little jealous of Ponyboy.  
>He had so much more than me, he was smart and one day he would be able to get out of this town and make something of his life. Unlike me I will probably work in Dx for the rest of my life. Sometimes I get embarrassed saying I work at a gas station and worse saying I was a drop out.<p>

When I dropped out it was for two reason to help Darry pay the bills, and I was failing school. I'm not really that smart the only class I was passing was gym and anybody could pass gym. School was always hard for me, I never understood half of the things I was getting taught. The only thing I probably learned from school was how to spell my name. It really does amaze me how smart Ponyboy is he could read a book and then have a full conversation about the book. I hardly read I never enjoy it, I don't see how Ponyboy love it, even Darry read's the newspaper. I always felt dumb compare to my brother's they are both really smart guys Ponyboy is a straight A student and Darry even got a scholarship! Darry was the big guy on compass when he was my age he was the head quarterback on the football team and got every girl he ever wanted even a Soc. The whole school worship him nerds, geeks, greasers, even some Socs.

The only thing that I really had going for me is that I can gets girls. They were glued to me for some odd reason, but that didn't mean some didn't like me. Lots of girls when I was in middle school made fun of me for not being the smartest kid. I remember when I asked this one girl out and she told me "Sorry Hun, your a pretty face and all, but you ain't the sharpest tool in the tool shed." It crushed me I never told anybody about that it hurts to much to know I couldn't get a girl cause I wasn't smart. After that I had a lot of dates and some girlfriends, but one girl caught my heart Sandy.

Sandy was the only girl that I felt love me for not being Sodapop the best looking guy in Tulsa, but just plain old Sodapop Curtis. There was something so special about her. She was gorgeous she had this beautiful blonde hair, and these crystal blue eyes. I couldn't believe she was actually my girl, she seemed so perfect. She even tried to help me understand my school work, but even with her help I was still lost. When I told her I dropped out she didn't seemed to upset, but a little disappointed. I don't blame her it not every girl dream to fine out that your boyfriend going to be working at a gas station. When I dropped out of school for the first time in a really long time I was so happy. Well I'm always happy everybody looks at me and see my famous grin, but sometimes it a fake smile. I'm not saying I'm fake, but I always feel like I have to please everybody. I always try to be happy and see the good about everything. When my parents died I thought they were in a better place. When Dallas and Johnny died I thought they didn't have to deal with any more pain. Johnny with his parents and Dallas with this whole world. That night stills scares me just thinking that I lost Ponyboy one of the few people that I would do anything for really hurt me. The only time I couldn't think of anything positive of the situation was when Sandy cheated on me.

It hurt like Hell when I found out she was cheating on me like someone got a knife and put it in my heart. To make matters worse she was pregnant with somebody else baby. I still don't see what I could have done differently in are relationship. I think her family put words in her head they never really liked me, they weren't thrilled when she told them she was dating a high school drop out. I feel like I let a lot of people down, I was post to be a role model for Ponyboy and I was post to make my parents proud. Instead I'm working full time filling up cars with gas.

I looked at the track and saw Ponyboy running past the finish line. He won, the crowd started screaming and cheering. I started whistling, so did Darry. We both walked down to the track, Ponyboy had a huge smile on his face and his gold medal around is neck. Gosh, he was getting more handsome everyday, he got some muscle too. Looks and smart's the lady are sure going to dig him. I ran over to him and gave him a hug. Darry patted him on the back. Ponyboy was getting praised by his track team and some girls too. I smiled proudly at my brother.  
>Looks come and go, but a diploma can last forever. It still hurts to know I wont be able to have a diploma like everybody else. I will always be jealous of my brother's that they'll have that special piece of paper that will last forever.<p>

**Sorry for the typos I tried really hard to fix them.**


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